"My mirror and my camera have two completely different ideas of what I look like..."
"Men are like BLUETOOTH connection, when u beside them, they stay connected.. But when u are away they search for new devices.."
"I think I'll changed all my passwords to ‘incorrect’. So my computer just tells me when I forget..."
"Face ur problems, not Facebook it.. "
"When I’m sad, I just sing, so I can realize that my voice is worse than my problems..."
"Teacher: “You failed the test.” Me:”You failed to educate.”"
"I’m not the girl ur mom warned u about.. her imagination was never this good.."
"“You look pretty today.” … Was I ugly yesterday? o_O"
"I think that facebook should change the status question from “what’s on your mind?” to “what’s your problem today?”"
"My room was clean until I have to find something to wear..."
"Turning into a ninja, when my phone rings in another room..."
"We live in the “WTF” Generation >> W: Wikipedia, T: Twitter, F: Facebook"
"Laughing is the best medicine. But if u’re laughing for no reason, u need medicine..."
"I dont like Facebook.. Its like jail, u sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people u don’t know..."
"Never make the same mistake twice, there are so many new ones, try a different one each day.. "
"When you really want to slap someone, do it and say “mosquito.”"
"It may look like I’m doing nothing, but I’m actively waiting for my problems to go away... "
"I think I’m going to make Facebook acc, with name "NO ONE" so whenever I like someone’s status it will say “NO ONE LIKES YOUR STATUS” "
"One of my mom’s rules growing up was never to write on walls, well apparently Facebook doesn’t have that rule.."
"Beauty isn’t measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we have inside" >> So we have to be naked? O_O "
"Math questions : “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other, what do I have?” >> Oh I dunno, a drinking problem maybe?"
"Finally found out that the plant I’ve been watering isn’t real… (-_- ") "
"Fact of life, After Monday & Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F.."
"Wonders if its bad when I’m talking to myself and I’m not even listening… "
"What happens in an exam : Tik tok , Mind block , Pen stop , Eye pop , Full shock , Jaw drop , Time up , No Luck.."
BalasHapus"H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K = Half of My Energy Wasted on Random Krap!"
" Why *Girl to girl*: "You look pretty!" "Ahwww thanks, so do you!" but *Guy to guy*: "You look handsome." "Dude, Are you gay?" "
"Math will ever u grow up and solve your own problems?"
" My mom thinks LOL stands for "lots of love" and she texted me "Your Grandma just died. LOL" "
"If a cop stops me and says "papers" and I say "scissors", do I win?"
"ifanyoneknowswhatthelongstickatthebottomofthekeyboardisfor?"
"Wondering if I can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars"
"Wondering what the person who discovered milk was doing with the cow.."
" One day twitter, facebook, and youtube will combine to make the most time consuming website known to mankind. We'll call it "YOU TWIT FACE" "
"My brain has two parts: the left part and the right part. My left brain has nothing right, while my right brain has nothing left.. ^_^"
BalasHapus"Money cant buy u happiness but however its more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a second-hand bicycle.."
"#Wondering Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?"
"My friend really loves reading books...Facebook being one of her fave book.."
":-) :-( :-P :-X :-$ :-* :-O I'm experiencing a few technical difficulties with my emotions at the moment.."
"Three fastest ways of communication: Tele-Phone, Tele-Vision and Tell-a-Woman.."
"If u need space.. Go to NASA.."
"I turned my life around. I used to be depressed and miserable.. now.. I'm miserable and depressed.."
"Mom "Clean ur room, family are coming over." - Me "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize the gathering would be held in my bedroom." "
"A bank is a place that will lend u money, if you can prove that u don't need it.."
"With great power.. comes a great electricity bill.. "
"My friend shows up late for work. The boss yells “You should have been here at 8:30!” He replies: “Why? What happened at 8:30?” "
"Today i had a daymare.."
BalasHapus"Whoever said money doesn't grow on trees obviously never sold marijuana.."
"Hey Mario..!! remember me..?? I wasted my childhood saving ur girlfriend.."
"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.."
"#Wondering if a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?"
"Yes, an idea can change ur life & a girl can change ur Ideas.. But it doesnt means u can always change ur GF to get new ideas.. "
"Stopping the Microwave at :01 and feeling like a bomb specialist.. "
"I wanted breakfast in bed this morning.. so i slept in the kitchen.. "
"I think the salesmen at the furniture store misunderstood when I told him I wanted "one nightstand" (-_-")"
"The judge says "U've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."
"The worst disease in the world is fear... and Im AFRAID of it.."
"I took an IQ test and the results were negative.. "
"My friend is so poor that he can't even afford to pay attention.."
"#Wondering why "all together" is written separate, and "separate" is written all together.."
"The police sent me a photo of my car speeding, so I sent them a picture of my check.."
"Money cant buy u happiness but however its more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a second-hand bicycle.. "
"My friend really loves reading books...Facebook being one of her fave book.. "
":-) :-( :-P :-X :-$ :-* :-O I'm experiencing a few technical difficulties with my emotions at the moment.."
"I'm going to start naming my word documents "The Earth" so when I'm done, my PC will ask me if I want to save The Earth or not.."
"I ordered a home delivery from KFC and Denny's at the same time, so I can see which comes first, the chicken or the eggs.. "
"Atheism is a non-prophet organization.."
"I know whats your tweet was last summer.. "